


everywhere at the end of time

by blaise_nova



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caring Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Derealization, Dissociation, Dream Team SMP Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Emotional Manipulation, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Manipulation, Pandora's Vault, Phil Watson Adopts Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29529999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blaise_nova/pseuds/blaise_nova
Summary: When Ranboo comes to visit Dream for the first time when he was "awake," Dream decides that he can use this to his advantage. Though Ranboo seems about as confused as Dream does throughout the whole situation, Dream holds firm that he can get out of this prison with Ranboo's help, and Ranboo keeps trying to get the closure that he so desperately needs.One particular visit, though, things go wrong in a worse way than Dream ever could have imagined, and he realizes that he may not like everything that he's been doing as much as he used to think he did.orRanboo and Dream heal together (but only after things go horribly wrong).
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Sam | Awesamdude, Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone
Comments: 30
Kudos: 274





	1. slightly bewildered

**Author's Note:**

> tags will be updated as the fic goes along.
> 
> NONE of the relationships in this story are romantic and they NEVER will be. ranboo is a minor, thank you very much.  
> what about the adults? please, romance has no place in this story. everybody's just sad lol
> 
> enjoy :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo visits Dream, then Ranboo decides to visit Dream again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello hi!
> 
> welcome to my mess of a fanfiction. i have lots of plans for how this shit show is going to go, and i'm very very excited to see if anyone else likes the idea!
> 
> this first chapter is only really an introduction, unfortunately, and the chapters that are set to come are far more interesting. but every story has got to start somewhere right? if you stick around, i promise you're going to get to see some very interesting stuff :)
> 
> for every chapter (unless i specify otherwise) there will be a section that is from dream's point of view and then another section that is from ranboo's. maybe i'll throw in a couple of dream or ranboo only chapters here and there. i don't specify when the point of view changes, but i think it's clear enough when it does? please do let me know if it's not lmaooo
> 
> anyways, i'm going to stop rambling on now and just tell you to enjoy!

Of all the people that he’d expected to come visit him, Dream certainly hadn’t expected for it to be Ranboo. 

At least, not  _ this _ Ranboo.

When he’d first been put into this prison, Ranboo had visited him within a matter of days.  _ That _ had been expected. More than anything else, though, the visit had seemed to be more of a goodbye than a discussion of future business. Even Dream was aware that this prison was almost entirely inescapable, despite his consistent claims of future escape, and it was understandable, though frustrating, that Ranboo didn’t want any part in his breakout plans. 

Dream had always known the hybrid as someone to stir up trouble, but he also knew that Ranboo only participated in causing chaos when it was convenient for him. Now that Dream was locked up and the war was over, there simply wasn’t anything left for Ranboo to gain by attempting to help him out. Yet again, it was understandable, but also undeniably frustrating.

It seemed as if Dream would have to rely on Techno’s favour after all which was unfortunate. Even more unfortunately, though, the piglin hadn’t visited him yet, and he didn’t seem to have any plans to, seeing as it had already been a week and Techno  _ knew _ that Dream was trapped there. Just like how it had always been, Dream found that he was going to have to rely completely upon himself to get this job done right.

That would be a problem for later, however, as Dream glanced up to see the lava dropping, followed by the familiar sound of pistons that pushed up the barrier to keep him from leaving as whoever it was that was here made their way over. He squinted through the sudden darkness in an attempt to get an idea of who was visiting him today but couldn’t see much other than the form of someone who looked unfairly tall. That, however, was enough for him to have a good guess of who it was that was coming across that platform, and it made him perk up a bit in hope.

The moment that the barrier dropped, Dream nonchalantly waltzed over to the hybrid and smiled as he looked up at him without really thinking.

“Back so soon?” he commented a bit teasingly, basking in both the warmth of the lava which had returned outside and the warmth that having power over someone always gave him. “I knew you would be, of course. There’s no way you would just leave me here after everything.”

His words were followed up with a rather shaky and unexpected “what?” which prompted Dream to finally look at the person in front of him with a more careful eye.

The confident yet quiet individual that he was used to had seemingly turned into someone else entirely. The person in front of him was slouched over in a way that had to have hurt his back, and his arms were wrapped around himself a bit too tightly to be ignored. Even more disappointingly, the expression that this Ranboo held currently was a mix of horror and confusion, something that Dream had never seen from him before except when he was first being arrested and at the Community House when Dream had used the other’s memory book to expose him as a traitor.

For a moment, Dream was as confused as Ranboo was, opening his mouth to ask what was going on when he remembered something that Ranboo had actually mentioned to him before when they were negotiating his keeping of the disk temporarily. 

_ The nether was a rather dangerous and unlikeable place, but Ranboo had insisted on meeting here so as to not be seen by anyone else. They’d decided to find each other by the portal that led to Technoblade’s house so that it was less likely to see anyone else and so Ranboo could run through the portal to escape if necessary. It seemed like a rather selfish thing to do, but Dream supposed that Ranboo’s secrecy in the matter wasn’t completely unfounded. No one knew that the two were working together, and Dream had been sworn to secrecy by the other. He’d only agreed because having a secret weapon on his side was preferable, but he’d be happy to let Ranboo think that he had the upper hand. _

_ When Dream had first arrived, he’d presented the disk to the other, who appeared almost frustratingly uninterested. On one hand, that was what had made Dream trust that Ranboo wouldn’t betray his trust and give the disk to someone else, but, on the other hand, it made him feel as if the disks weren’t nearly as powerful as they were.  _ That _ was frustrating. _

_ For a few moments, the two discussed the implications of the trade and the necessity of it in the first place during the upcoming events. Eventually, the deal seemed to have been worked out, and the human (without hesitation. Dream didn’t hesitate. He didn’t have second thoughts) offered the disk to the person in front of him _

_ The hybrid carefully took it from Dream’s hands and examined the scratched vinyl with unfeeling eyes. He was silent for a few moments before pocketing the object and looking back to the other. _

_ “Take it back when you’re ready,” he said, steady hands taking out a book and making a short note within its pages.  _

_ The book was in much better shape than the one that Dream had gotten a hold of before.  _ That _ book had been tattered and torn in many places and was filled to the brim with mostly useless rants until the latter pages. The spine was falling apart, and the ink ran from the times that Ranboo had hopped in to the water with it.  _ This _ book, however, was in pristine shape, and, from the small glimpse that Dream had gotten into its contents, the pages seemed to be filled with short sentences at best. _

_ It seemed that Ranboo had caught his staring, though, as he gave a growl and stashed the book back underneath his coat. He didn’t say anything else on the matter, opting instead to discuss the more important transaction once more. “I’ll have the disk buried by my shack in the tundra. Don’t ask me about it when you come for it. In fact, don’t speak to me at all.” _

_ Confused, Dream opened his mouth to question the other before promptly being cut off, something that he wouldn’t tolerate from many but let slide since this was his business partner, something akin to what Techno had once been before retiring. _

_ “I won’t remember this,” Ranboo deadpanned, answering the unspoken question from before. “I won’t know where it is or that this happened in the first place, and I won’t like it once I’m awake again.” _

At the time, Dream had wondered what “awake again” meant, but it seemed like this is what it was. Similar to him, though, Ranboo certainly didn’t seem to be very happy about it. The hybrid’s whole being seemed to tremble as he shifted a bit, taking a step back from the other. He almost seemed desperate to leave already despite only having just arrived. His eyes desperately darted from the man in front of him to around the room, but there was no visible way out.

For one more moment, Dream allowed himself to smile. Although he wasn’t used to seeing Ranboo like this and still wasn’t sure that he liked it, he was sure that he could use it to his advantage somehow. The untrusting yet vulnerable look in Ranboo’s eyes assured him of it. It reminded him of Tommy almost.

Back to the topic at hand, though, Dream finally responded to the query that the other had made before which seemed to surprise Ranboo out of being lost in his own thoughts like he’d been seconds before. 

“Well, we’re friends, aren’t we?” he asked carefully, testing the waters. The human took a few steps back and sat criss cross on the floor as he allowed Ranboo the space he clearly needed. The question, however, seemed to only distress the other even more.

“We… what?” The teen had obviously not been expecting things to go this way, but that simply left Dream to wonder what he  _ had _ been expecting. “No, we’ve hardly ever even talked.” Despite the confidence that was clearly meant to come with the words, it was easy to tell that Ranboo wasn’t sure about that at all. The unknowing tone was enough to bring curiosity about just how much the other actually remembered, but Dream didn’t bother to push it for now.

“Aw, come on.” A chuckle escaped from his mouth casually, rocking slightly as they spoke. He glanced idly at the clock that was on the wall which was still smashed from when he’d thrown it after Tommy’s visit before. “We’ve talked plenty!” he continued. For a second, he struggled to think of a time that they’d talked when Ranboo hadn’t had that very-clearly-out-of-it look in his eyes and was left only with the time at the Community House in which he’d revealed Ranboo as a traitor to his people. “What about the Community House?”

The words seemed to draw even more of a reaction than Dream had expected, the teenager backing up even more, dangerously close to the lava at this point but seeming to not care, and he shook his head vigorously. The warm orange color of the magma behind him reflected off of his crown in an almost blinding way and gave him a reddish hue that gave him the appearance of being on fire already. 

It took everything Dream had to not flinch at how close the other was to a fiery death, and, instead of reacting how he felt pulled to, he simply cocked his head at the other with a small smile. 

When Ranboo finally spoke, his voice shook in a way that almost made Dream feel bad. Almost. “No, no no,” he whispered a bit breathlessly. “I didn’t do that. I didn’t.”

Now that really took Dream aback. The response didn’t fall in line with what he’d been talking about. Actually, it fell much more in line with how the Community House had ended up in the state that it had been leading up to Tommy’s betrayal of Technoblade, and, as far as he knew, Ranboo didn’t remember having done that. What had happened since the last time that they talked?

Although a bit confused, Dream simply decided to go with it. “Of course you did!” The cheerfulness in his voice sounded almost mocking, and maybe that’s what it was meant to be. It was hard to tell what Dream felt at this point. He honestly wished that he’d had more time to prepare for this. “We were both there, weren’t we? Did you forget?”

What he’d said seemed to be a step too far, though, as Ranboo bristled and yanked out his communicator desperately and typed out a message with shaky hands. Almost immediately after he had, he made his way over to the corner where Dream respawned, careful not to touch the water but close enough to the area as Sam had probably asked.

“You’re lying.” Ranboo ranted as he walked. His voice carried a bit of anger, but his body seemed to curl in on itself in a way that was both unconscious and fearful. “I didn’t do that, and you’re lying to me. I don’t know how you know any of what you’re talking about, but that’s not true.”

Dream didn’t bother to interrupt. It didn’t even seem like Ranboo would have heard him if he did considering how desperately he clung to the words that he repeated over and over. His eyes appeared almost wild and darted around the room like a rabbit’s might after having been cornered by a wolf.

Moments before the potion would be deployed that would end Ranboo’s visit, he turned to Dream’s unmasked face. The glare that reached his eyes, rather than being stopped by his mask as it would have been before, left Dream feeling strangely vulnerable and almost afraid of the hybrid. Almost, if it hadn’t been for the near tangible fear behind the anger.

Ranboo was  _ afraid _ of Dream. And Dream could definitely use that.

“I came here for closure, not to be manipulated,” the taller hissed.

It was then that the potion splashed down, and the visit came to its conclusion.

A small smile graced Dream’s features as the puff of smoke that had been Ranboo dissipated. There was definitely more to this situation than he’d thought, and he could only hope that the hybrid would visit him again so that he might entertain himself once more. If he was lucky, he would even be able to use this to get out of here, though luck hadn’t seemed to be on his side recently.

All in due time, though.

First, he had to wait for poor Ranboo to come back for a second time.

It had been a few days since Ranboo’s visit with Dream, and he still found himself slightly bewildered with what had gone on during it. At times, he wished that he’d stayed longer and asked more questions, but it was obvious to him, even in his endless curiosity, that the idea was terrible. Still, the unanswered questions from before left him feeling a level of consistent anxiety that he hadn’t felt since moving to the tundra with Phil and Techno and leaving L’Manburg behind.

Currently, the other two residents of the snowy lands around him were out adventuring somewhere together, as they usually had been since they both retired, and Ranboo was left by himself in the tundra to make frankly unneeded improvements to his house (which was admittedly still closer to a shack but was leaps better than it had been when he’d first built it) and farm. He wasn’t offended by them leaving without him. The two were far closer to each other than they probably ever would be to him, and it was understandable that they wanted some time to be alone considering that their home couldn’t allow them that anymore. It almost made Ranboo feel bad, but he knew that they wanted him there and no words could describe how thankful he was for that.

Right now, however, he wasn’t quite as unaffected by them leaving him alone as he might have been on other days.

As he idly worked, words tumbled out of his mouth, the teen still desperately trying to figure out what had happened in that prison cell a few days ago.

“How could he know about the voice?” Ranboo muttered. He shoved snow out of the way to make room for new farmland, ignoring the way that the wetness of it made his hands sting. “There’s no way that he could know about that. I’ve never told anyone that.”

“But what if you did and you just forgot?” he countered. Seeds were carefully placed into the shallow hole that had been dug and were gently covered back up. “What if you told Dream and that’s why he thinks that you’re friends?”

Quickly, Ranboo pulled out a rather worn book and flipped through the pages rapidly, dirt smudging onto the paper, before he stashed it away again. “No, no, I would have written that down.”

“Would you have?” he asked himself as his shaky hands straightened his jacket out again. “You don’t write down things that you don’t want to remember.”

“But I would want to remember telling someone that,” he mumbled. “Why wouldn’t I want to remember that?”

“There’s a lot of things that you don’t want to remember,” came the reply.

“But not  _ that! _ ”

Distressed, Ranboo allowed himself to fall to his knees in the snow, cringing slightly at the way that the slush made his clothes feel damp and the stinging that came from it. He looked up at the cliffside above where his house rested and looked to the normally blindingly white snow that covered it and the plains beyond. Right now, though, the snow was nothing more than slush from the sun that had been beaming down on it since the beginning of the week, but it wasn’t sparkling in the way that it usually did since the sun had finally decided to hide itself again.

A cold chill ran down Ranboo’s spine as the wind almost seemed to slice through him, a sign that there would likely soon be a fresh layer of snow on the ground. He’d need to start wearing his armour outside again to be on the safe side.

After a heavy sigh, the hybrid continued his conversation from earlier. “He knew about the Community House too… He said that he was there. Could that be true?”

“Why would he lie to you about that?”

“He lies about a lot of things.”

“But then how did he know?”

“I don’t know.” A pause. “I  _ don’t  _ know.”

Did Ranboo want to go ask Dream what was going on? It seemed like a stupid idea no matter how he span it, but the cluelness that he felt now made the option seem like a far more appealing one. At this point, he’d do  _ anything _ to satiate the burning curiousity and fear that had made a home in his mind after the first visit.

“I need to go visit Dream again,” he stated to no one but himself. “I have to see him, and I have to ask him how he knew about the voice and the Community House. I have to know if he there’s anything else he knows too.”

“But that’s a bad idea.” He nodded his head a bit too hard.

Between his hands, Ranboo pressed a small ball of snow, the pain a welcome distraction. “ _ So _ bad, but I need to know.”

“Mate?”

The hybrid immediately startled at the sound of someone’s voice other than his own. He whirled around and chucked the snowball in the direction which the sound had come from, only to be greeted by a rather concerned looking Phil and Techno, snow in the feathers of one of Phil’s wings.

“Oh, my god, Phil, I’m so sorry! I-”

“Who were you talking to?” Techno interrupted, eyeing the other almost suspiciously.

For a moment, Ranboo choked on his words and stammered. “I-I…” He glanced towards the piglin, only feeling the words become harder to speak as he noticed the look on the other’s face, then darted his eyes back towards Phil who was brushing the snow off of himself. “How much did you…? What are you…?” 

He paused and attempted to swallow the lump in his throat and come up with an answer. “Sam.” The statement sounded a bit more like a question than an answer, and he cringed at the way that his voice cracked.

“Sam?” Phil asked. He seemed to have caught the odd lilt in the other’s voice, and so had Techno. The anarchist opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped when Phil placed a hand on his shoulder. “Why were you talking to Sam?”

“Uh… The prison.” Ranboo blurted, pausing when he realized that it didn’t really answer the question asked. “I mean, I’m going to go to the prison.”

“Because…?” Techno prompted a bit harshly.

The hybrid wrung his hands together nervously. Suddenly, the snow beneath his boots was far more interesting than the looks on his friends’ faces. “Because I’m going to visit Dream.”

Techno seemed to perk up a bit at this, but the reaction faded almost immediately after it appeared, replaced with the indifference that he normally wore. Phil was the one who ended up continuing the line of questions.

“Dream?” He sounded almost surprised. “Why? I didn’t even know that you two had talked before.”

The statement made Ranboo cringe. Up until his meeting with Dream in the cell, he hadn’t known for sure that they’d talked before either. At least, not to the extent which Dream believed that they had.  _ Believed… _ Ranboo hardly knew  _ what _ to believe anymore. “We talked… in L’Manburg.” It was his best guess.

Phil hummed in response, not saying anything else as he shook further snow from his wings, this time more powdery rather than slushy like the snowball that Ranboo had thrown at him earlier.

_ When had it started snowing? _ Ranboo wondered.

“Alright, mate,” the older man relented. “Just be careful, yeah? You know how Dream can be. He’s in that prison for a reason.”

The hybrid mumbled something close to an agreement and turned back to the farm. At this point, he really just wanted the conversation to be over and to be left back to his thoughts. Now that he’d spoken the lie aloud, Ranboo realized just how much he really did want to go back to visit Dream. He needed to know how Dream knew, and he certainly wasn’t going to find out by talking to himself in the tundra.

The moment that he heard strangley muffled goodbyes and crunching footsteps fading into the distance, Ranboo pulled out his communicator, squinting at the brightness of it momentarily, and set up the meeting that he’d just previously lied about. 

At least now it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst.....?  
> is for me.........?  
> actually, it's probably more for you.
> 
> i really hoped that you all enjoy the first chapter!! if you feel so compelled, i'd love to hear from you in the comments. i love feedback and conversation....
> 
> thank you for reading!!!


	2. quiet internal rebellions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream answers some questions, and Ranboo faces more than one demon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo i have returned with actually one of the longest chapters that i've ever written. pretty impressed with myself?  
> tbh i was going to make it longer, but i figured this was enough angst to hold you all over for now
> 
> enjoy!

The days that passed in between Ranboo’s first visit and his next one were filled with complete and utter boredom. What was Dream supposed to do for fun when he was alone in this stupid obsidian room? Five paces across, eight paces deep. He’d memorized the numbers quickly. There was nothing else to do but watch the time pass and write, and Dream had never been much of a writer. Tommy had given him assignments, of course, but they had been mocking, so Dream had deemed them to be a waste of time.

_“I’ll forgive you if you write these books for me!”_ he had said. What bullshit. As if a book on how to pick up girls of all things would bring Dream any closer to being let out of this prison.

No one would ever forgive him for what he’d done. That was something that he knew and accepted.

Funnily enough, they didn’t _have_ to forgive him. Dream wasn’t one to latch onto the feelings of others. He did what he thought would lead to the right thing, even if the actions he had taken along the way were less than favorable. The others’ opinions didn’t matter. It was _his_ SMP, and he _deserved_ to have power over it.

With a sigh, Dream turned his eyes towards the wall of lava, one of the many obstacles preventing him from getting out. Despite its less than pleasant reason for existing, the wall itself was actually quite beautiful. Sometimes, when he found that he couldn’t fall asleep on the cold and hard floor of the cell, Dream would watch the way that the molten liquid flowed, counting the bubbles that would cause small amounts of it to spill onto the floor before it inevitably became part of the obsidian itself.

Other times, when he was feeling decidedly more dangerous and significantly less caring about his own life, the man would edge closer to the heat of the wall. It was almost like a game. He’d see how close he could get before the logical side of his mind took over again and forced him further back into the cell. 

The first few times he’d played that game, Dream had felt sick with how close he’d allowed himself to get to the wall despite _knowing_ that he was on his final life and that the server would go to shit without his help. After about a week trapped in this place, however, he found that he cared less and less about the dangers of it and was entertained more and more by the mere idea of how everyone else would _pity_ him if he really went through with it.

“I bet they’d feel bad for me then.” He laughed, reaching his hand as close to the heat as he dared. Always just out of reach. “Then they’d see how _right_ I was.”

Suddenly, the lava began to fall, and the barrier pushed up behind him. The shame that had been missing before quickly came back full force, and he pulled his hand away from the lava and dove over the barrier back into his cell. Dream pulled out one of the many journals he’d been given and tried to look like he’d been writing the entire time despite not one word being on the page. He peeked over the top of the book and was greeted by Ranboo’s lanky form and almost unreadable expression. The hybrid seemed much more determined this time, though his body still shook.

A smile on his face, Dream opened his mouth to greet him but was cut off.

“No,” Ranboo snapped. “No. No, you’re not going to sit here and manipulate me again like you did last time.” The authority in his voice surprised the man in front of him. “I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to answer with the _truth_.”

Dream couldn’t help the short bark of laughter that escaped from his mouth at the directness of the other despite his obvious discomfort. He cleared his throat but didn’t speak, giving a small wave of his hand to tell Ranboo to go on.

Said teen seemed almost shocked by Dream’s willingness to cooperate, eyes widening a bit and mouth falling slightly agape. Quickly, he fumbled to grab something from within his jacket, and he eventually pulled out a book. A _worn_ book, Dream noted. Not like the one that he’d seen the other with in the nether. With what could almost be called desperation, Ranboo began to flip through the pages, intermittently looking up at Dream with upturned eyebrows and eyes still wide.

After about thirty seconds of this, he finally stopped on a page and let out an audible sigh of relief. “Sorry, I-” A pause as confusion and hesitation ghosted his face. “Never mind.” He placed his finger on the page, slowly sliding it as he read the words on the page. His eyes seemed to stop after reading whatever he had read, but Ranboo didn’t move to speak.

Dream gave him a few more seconds of silence before prompting him. “Well?”

The teen jumped a bit at the sound of his voice but managed to speak. “R-Right, um…” He closed his eyes for just a moment and shook his head, words steeped in hesitation. “How… How did you know that I… hear your voice?”

It took everything that Dream had to not react despite the complete shock and borderline horror that washed over him almost immediately. Heard his voice? _What?_ Obviously Ranboo meant more than just the general meaning of the phrase, or he wouldn’t have struggled so much to say it. Heard _his_ voice? _Dream’s?_ The amount of power that he must have had to make someone hear his voice even when he wasn’t there made a pleasant warmth rise in his chest, making it easy to ignore the chill that also washed over him when he thought about it.

Pushing himself up off of the ground, Dream slowly paced over to the hybrid, a small smile gracing his features. Although he partially did this to intimidate Ranboo and to ride the wave of power he felt, he mostly needed more time to think of how to respond. This kid seemed to throw off every sense of normalcy and routine that Dream had developed in his discussions with Tommy and Tubbo. This was supposed to be _easy_ for him, but something about hearing that someone else hears _his_ voice in _their_ head disoriented him a bit.

The taller flinched away as Dream got closer to him, yet again drawing closer to the danger of the lava seemingly without realizing it. He inhaled sharply as he got so close that the occasional spills of lava could spray him if they so chose. “Wh-What are you doing…?”

Dream threw his arm around Ranboo’s shoulder, fortunate that the other was slouching so much, and gave him a bright smile that he wasn’t sure that the other saw as mismatched eyes locked onto the limb around him in terror. Other than the seemingly constant shaking of Ranboo’s body while in his presence, Dream noticed that the taller had stopped moving the moment that his hand had touched him. The way that he looked at where their bodies met almost made it look like it burned him more than the lava ever could.

“We’re friends, Ranboo!” Dream enthused, gently leading both of them away from the lava wall as he spoke. “Friends know _everything_ about each other.”

He watched in amusement as the other attempted to pry his eyes away from Dream’s hand to look back to his book. Maybe he’d already forgotten the question that he asked. “What- How…?”

“Aw, Ranboo, you don’t need that.” Removing his arm from around the hybrid’s shoulder, Dream gently pulled the book out of Ranboo’s hands and clutched it to his chest. “Just _talk_ to me.”

The moment that the book was taken from his grasp, a look of confusion crossed onto Ranboo’s face, and he reached forward as if to take it, only to have Dream turn away from him so that the journal was just out of reach. “Dream, my memory book,” he pleaded as he reached for it once more. “I-I need my memory book, _please._ I-”

Yet again, Dream pulled away and held the book even closer to himself than before. “You don’t need it when you’ve got me!” he carefully opened the cover and began to leaf through the pages, cringing at most of the words written on the pages. Things seemed to have gotten even worse than the first time that he’d gotten his hands on Ranboo’s memory book. Part of him couldn’t help but smile at the thought that the other’s decline had something to do with him. “I can tell you whatever you need to know.” He elongated the words almost mockingly as he relished the power that he had.

“No, no no no no. Give it back!” The length between Ranboo’s breaths were getting steadily shorter, and his movements were becoming more reckless, practically throwing himself at Dream. “ _Please_. Please, please. Dream-”

“God, you’re super reliant on this thing, huh?” the man muttered. He put the book in one hand and held the hybrid at arm’s length with the other. “That can’t be healthy, Ranboo. Having to use a _book_ just to be able to live normally? Yikes. I mean, you couldn’t even remember what you came here to ask me!”

“Dream!”

“Don’t you worry, Ranboo,” he drawled. “Your best friend is here to help you out.” He gave the other a malicious look as he managed to find the page that Ranboo had been reading from earlier. “Let me answer the rest of your questions for you.” 

“ _P_ _lease_ , Dream!”

The man’s eyes scanned over the page, and he read aloud. “‘How does Dream know about me hearing his voice?’ I already answered this one, but I don’t think that you were listening to me. Friends know everything about each other, and we’re the best of friends, right?” 

Instead of an answer, all Dream got was a pained cry.

“Continuing onward, ‘how did Dream know about me blowing up the Community House?’ The same way that I know about the voice!” His gaze shifted over to Ranboo, who definitely looked worse for wear. His eyes were squeezed shut, one hand pulling at his hair and the other clutching at his chest as he struggled to breathe. Dream paid no mind to it. “Y’know, Ranboo, most of these questions have the same answer. What were you expecting me to say? That I got someone to spy on you?” He chuckled for a moment, then continued. “Or-Or that I’m some sort of all-knowing god that reads your mind?” The chuckle quickly evolved into a full on laugh, making it difficult to speak through. “I mean, how else was I supposed to know other than from you _telling_ me?” Now, that part was actually true. “God, Ranboo, that’s ridiculous!”

The hybrid in front of him stumbled over to the nearby wall, leaning against it for support. He looked as if he might pass out. The thought alone was amusing.

“Well, I think I’ll just go ahead and write down the answer for you, so you don’t forget,” Dream said cheerily. He grabbed the quill and ink that he’d had out earlier at the beginning of their visit and scribbled down on the next empty page: _Dream is my friend_ , dotting the end of the sentence dramatically. “There!” He looked down at his work in admiration. “Now you’ll never forget.”

At this point, it seemed pretty obvious that Ranboo wasn’t going to be able to muster up a response, and Dream could only hope that he’d been able to hear what he’d been saying this whole time. Otherwise, this all would have been a sad, sad waste of time. At least it was entertaining. Dream could say that, at the very least. He eyed Ranboo’s form who seemed to be shrinking in on himself and tsked softly.

Approaching the other, he waved his hand in front of the other’s eyes and frowned when he didn’t get a response. “Ranboo?” he called impatiently, then sighed and tossed the book that was still in his hands onto the floor across the room. “Ranboo!” A sharp sound filled the air as he clapped loudly, the sound echoing off of the walls in a way that made Dream cringe.

The action seemed to catch the other’s attention, though, as he blinked and wide eyes looked towards the man in front of him. “D...Dream?”

“Ranboo, hi! Welcome back!”

Dream flinched backwards as the teen began to reach towards him, confused. He cocked his head and glanced towards the book, thinking that Ranboo might have been trying to get it back again, but that didn’t seem to be the case as his hand stopped just short of touching _him_ instead.

“Are… you real?”

The question admittedly surprised Dream, but he didn’t allow the emotion to show despite the slight pang of guilt(????) that he felt at the broken sound of Ranboo’s voice. “Am I real?” he repeated, humming a bit in thought. “I think so. The real question is... are _you_?”

There was a few seconds of silence, only filled by the popping of lava. Eyes unfocused, the hybrid seems to think. “ _No,_ ” he eventually whispers.

Laughing a bit, though he doesn’t know if it’s from amusement or shock, Dream gives a shrug. “Whatever you say, friend.” With delicate movements, the man carefully takes Ranboo’s communicator from his pocket and opens his messages. He quickly types something out and sends it before returning the object, gently pushing the teen towards the back of the room where he would be exiting.

“Well, I think that was helpful for the both of us, don’t you?” he drawled, but didn’t wait for a response. “You know, I don’t get many updates about what’s going on out there. At this point, I feel like I’m pretty behind on everything.” After Ranboo was close enough to the water (close, but not in. Dream remembered last time), he scooped the book off of the floor once more and held it up. “I think I’m going to hold onto this for a bit. Just so I can figure things out.” A sick smile spread on his face. “You don’t mind your best friend keeping your book for a bit, right, Ranboo?”

Said person turned upon hearing his name, the lighter half of his face made even brighter by the light of the lava behind him, and the darker almost as dark as the obsidian in comparison. For a few seconds, he seemed conflicted. His eyes darted from Dream’s face to the journal in his hands with uncertainty.

Before the other could realize what the better decision would be, Dream interjected again, morphing his smile into something that he thought might be considered soothing, although he wasn’t really sure what that looked like anymore. “You don’t mind... do you, Ranboo?”

The words seemed to conflict the taller even more, but he slowly shook his head despite the complete wrongness of the situation that Dream was sure he could feel.

“Good,” the man said happily. 

Above the room, Dream heard the telltale click of redstone and gave a wave. “Goodbye, Ranboo! I’ll see you next time. Soon, yeah?”

And, with that, he was gone.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jolting from the bed with a gasp, Ranboo immediately tried to stand, but his legs gave out and the ground quickly met him with a thud. He yelped as his elbows and knees collided with the rock and closed his eyes to stop the room from spinning.

“Woah, are you alright?” A voice called, but the teen couldn’t quite tell whose. Everything seemed fuzzy as he pushed himself up off of the hard floor with a groan. “Ranboo?” The voice called again.

Wide eyes glanced up and were met with a concerned look behind the red tinted goggles of a mask. The man was crouched in front of him, communicator still in hand. He was wearing a lot of green, and, for just a second, Ranboo thought that it was Dream. The kind demeanor and stockier build of the person in front of him made him quickly discard that thought. Squinting his eyes, Ranboo studied the other’s face. He had on a mask, but not one like Dream’s. A gas mask.

_Sam_ , he realized and let out a breath that he hadn’t even known he was holding. “I-I’m okay,” he managed. “Just… disoriented. I-” The smallest echo of another voice filled his ears. It sounded distant, almost like it was coming from somewhere very far away. He glanced around the room in confusion, but only saw Sam, eyes widening at what the implications of that meant. “I have to go.” His body shuddered violently as the voice rang in his ears again, clearer this time. “Sam, I have to go _now._ ”

The warden’s concern only seemed to increase at his pleas, and he gently placed a hand on Ranboo’s shoulder. The teen could see Sam’s eyes soften further at the state of him, and cringed. He didn’t want to be pitied. “Ranboo, what’s going on?” the man asked gently. “Are you okay?”

“ _Sam!_ ” came Ranboo’s yell, a mix of clear panic and anger (at who, he wondered) on his face. “Let me out! Let me out, _please!_ I-I have to go!”

Hand flinching away, Sam stiffened and opened his mouth as if to speak, but seemed to decide against it, only giving a hesitant nod. He gently helped pull Ranboo up from the ground and began, what the teen was only now realizing to be, the painfully slow and convoluted process of getting out of the prison. There were so many checkpoints, so many potions, and so much stopping and waiting. Check _this_ , check _that_ . _You understand, don’t you, Ranboo? We have to be sure_. Any other time, it would have been fine, but the unnecessary security checks and pauses in their journey were grating on Ranboo’s nerves like nothing else ever had before.

The moment that the two reached the main room once more and the nether portal was lit, Ranboo sprinted towards the almost sickening purple glow and the nauseating swirl that meant freedom. He didn’t even bother to stop and listen to Sam’s shout as he began to run, nor the fact that he was leaving all of his things at the prison in the process.

“Wha- Ranboo, wait! Your items, they-”

Sam’s voice was cut off as he shifted dimensions and found himself to be in an even smaller and more enclosed space. His eyes darted across the walls for any way out but came upon nothing but the wall’s smooth surface, much to his dismay.

“Portal,” he mumbled to himself and whirled back around to gaze into the warping colors he’d just come from. “You have to go through the portal again, you know this. Why did you run?”

“I have to get out of here. Going through the portal will lead me back there. It’ll lead me back to Sam and-” His hands pressed to his ears as he spoke, desperately trying to block out the whisper from before which was steadily getting louder. “I can’t go back there. There has to be another way.”

“Well, you can’t stay _here_.”

“I _know_ I can’t _._ ”

“Then what are you going to _do?_ ”

“I don’t know.” Ranboo glanced once again at the walls around him, feeling the wall that he’d come out facing for any other way out but, again, finding nothing.

With a groan, the hybrid sunk down against the wall. “You have to go,” he mumbled.

“I _know._ ”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I _don’t know! I don’t know what I’m going to do_ , _I-_ ”

The muffled sound of the portal activating again followed by footsteps seemed to ring throughout the room, somehow painfully loud despite how far away it all felt. “Ranboo?”

It took the man a moment to locate the other, who had somehow become almost unnoticeably small in the corner despite being so tall normally. His hands continued to press to his ears, and angry red streaks marred the skin on his cheeks from where tears had fallen and he hadn’t bothered to wipe them. Panicked eyes glanced up at the newcomer, and Ranboo could hardly tell who it was from the blurriness of his vision. Splotches of green and tiny hints of red gave him his best guess, and he pathetically called out the other’s name.

“What happened…?” Sam hesitantly approached, kneeling to the ground in front of him once more and placing a careful hand on the kid’s shoulder, more gentle this time than he had been before.

Ranboo wracked his mind desperately as he tried to answer Sam’s question, but the only thing that could be considered clear enough to be considered anywhere close to a memory of what had happened in the past… however long his visit had been, was the sound of Dream’s voice. “I don’t remember,” the hybrid whimpered.

“That’s okay,” Sam said softly, the words a relief to hear. The man was quiet for a moment, seeming to be grasping at straws just as desperately as Ranboo was. “Did you write it down?”

_Write it down…_ Ranboo thought. He didn’t write down bad things. _Was this a bad thing? Why don’t I remember?_

The hand on his shoulder tightened softly, bringing him back to reality again as Sam prompted him again. “You had your memory book, didn’t you?”

“My memory book,” the teen repeated, confused. Something was wrong. What was wrong? What was wrong about his memory book? He shifted slightly as he reached into his jacket, feeling for the journal. When he couldn’t find it in his right pocket, he moved his hands to the left one. When it wasn’t there either, Ranboo remembered what was wrong about this, and his heartbeat sped up when he realized with horror that, no matter which pocket he looked, the journal wouldn’t be there. “My memory book!”

The sudden increase in volume made Sam flinch, but Ranboo wasn’t cognizant enough in the moment to realize, let alone care. His breathing rapidly hastened as he shoved the other out of the way and scrambled towards the portal with vigor. Before he could get any further than a few feet, though, Sam pulled him back and held him steady by his shoulders.

“Woah, woah, woah, what _about_ your memory book?” he asked urgently.

“Dream! Dream, he-” Ranboo stopped, gasping for air and clawing at Sam’s arms around his chest in a desperate attempt to get away.

The man hardly seemed, to notice, though, as he quickly turned the other around and looked him in the eyes, a seriousness in his glare that hadn’t been there before. “Did Dream take your memory book?”

Still in Sam’s grasp, Ranboo desperately nodded, causing the other to let out a curse.

“This is a security risk,” he hissed angrily, reminding Ranboo in the back of his mind that he wasn’t the only hybrid here. “I need you to stay here while I sort this out, I-” He cut himself off as he looked back to the kid and saw the panic in his eyes, fresh tears on his face. His gaze softened considerably at the sight. “Damnit, Sam,” he whispered with a sigh, seemingly upset with himself as he released his tight grip on the other’s shoulders.

The man stood to his feet, pulling Ranboo up with him, then placed a hand to his forehead in exasperation. “Look, you can go,” he said hesitantly. It seemed like he was taking pity on the child. “I’ll deliver your stuff, memory book included, back to you as soon as I can. You live in the tundra, right? With Phil and Techno?” He paused as the other nodded. “Send me the coordinates, and I’ll give it to you there, okay?” Another nod. “I’m going to go handle this. Wait ten seconds after I go through the portal, then go through, and you’ll be out. I’ll give you thirty seconds before I turn it off altogether.”

A pathetic stream of thanks tumbled from Ranboo’s mouth, but Sam brushed him off, the urgency from before returning. Without another word, he stepped through the portal, and Ranboo was alone once again. His shaky voice filled the air once more as he counted aloud to ten in an attempt to ground himself, then stepped into the glowing gateway in front of him.

It took a few seconds for the transition to finish, a time that he’d never enjoyed, but he was soon returned to the overworld, fresh air immediately hitting his senses. The nether always smelled like ashes and death, a smell that he didn’t think anyone found pleasant. Though it wasn’t as if the overworld was much better these days.

Even after Ranboo stepped away from the threshold of the portal and was greeted with the sound of buzzing bees and the wind whistling through the tall grass, his body still felt as if it was spinning. Darkness creeped into the edges of his vision as the sun peered over the trees and beamed down on him. It would have been comforting if it hadn’t felt more like burning rather than the gentle warmth that the sun was typically supposed to bring on days like this. Despite that, the hybrid kept walking and tried to focus instead on the rhythm that his footsteps made as he moved. He didn’t really know where he was going. All he could really hear anymore was his heartbeat and the voice that refused to be ignored.

With a surprising swiftness (he hadn’t known he could walk that fast, or maybe he’d just been really out of it again), Ranboo could feel the subtle sting of water on his skin that brought him at least somewhat back to reality. With a blink, he was greeted with dark, cracked walls, similar to the prison but _not_ the prison, filled with almost illegible scribbles from wall to wall, and the sound of rushing water. He gasped as something cold dripped on his face and let out a choked sound as he realized where he was.

“Hello,” a voice from nowhere called out. “I was beginning to think that you weren’t coming.”

Immediately, Ranboo fell to his knees. “What?” he cried out. “No, I got rid of you. You were gone!”

The voice hummed softly. “I don’t think I ever really left, do you?” It allowed a moment for the other to provide an answer and sighed when it didn’t get one. “You’ve been ignoring me. Too focused on the real Dream to even think about me. It’s not good to ignore a part of yourself, is it?”

“You’re not a part of me!” The lump in his throat made it harder to speak as panic that he’d barely managed to subdue from before began to bubble over once more. “You’re not me,” he repeated. His vision began to blur, and the words on the walls became unreadable. “No, no no no. This isn’t real.” Hands desperately covered his ears again, but the voice could still be heard.

“You’re hyperventilating.”

“And _you’re_ not helping!”

“But I’m _you._ ”

A weak laugh came from Ranboo’s throat, but there was no real humour in it. “No, you’re a _sickness_. An infection that’s only trying to hurt me.” He choked back a sob as he took another breath. The lack of air in the room was stifling. “ _Why?_ ” he asked. “Isn’t the real Dream enough? Why do you have to be here too?”

“I _am_ you,” the voice said sternly. “I’m the part of you that you hate so much, that you imagine it as the person that you hate _almost_ to the same degree.”

“No,” Ranboo managed.

“You hate that you did those things, so you blame it on someone else. _Anyone_ else.”

“No!”

“But you did do those things. _You_. Not Dream.”

The panic and misery only continued to grow, and he shook his head in desperation. He didn’t know if he was denying the claims that the other (he, himself?) was making or trying to ground himself back into reality (what was even real anymore?), but the action only served to give him a headache. “I didn’t,” he said through harsh breaths. “I _wouldn’t_.”

“You _did_.” Ever so slowly, the voice was beginning to change. It was beginning to stop sounding like Dream and more like… “What is hating Dream going to change?”

“It was _his_ fault. I didn’t mean to. I-”

“You _helped_ him. All of this is _your_ fault.”

He let out a strangled cry at the mere implication. “That’s not true. It’s not, it’s not.”

“If you hate Dream so much, then why do you keep visiting him?”

For a moment, the question stumped him, but he couldn’t really place why. The answer was obvious. He _knew_ the answer to that, so why did he hesitate? What made him stop and think? “I-I… I’m trying to get closure. I just… I just want answers.”

“You already _have_ answers.”

“But I _don’t_.”

“But you _do_.”

Ranboo gave a choked whimper, bending over so that his head rested on the cool ground beneath him. For a few moments, the only sound in the room was the steady drip of the obsidian above and the sharp breaths that the teen managed to take every so often. The quiet was tense and uncomfortable, though, and both sides of him moved to break it at once.

“Ranboo-”

“What do you _want_ from me?”

The quiet briefly returned once more as the voice almost seemed to think. “Admit it,” was all it ended up saying.

The hybrid inhaled softly, shutting his eyes. “Admit what?”

“Admit that it’s yourself that you hate. Not Dream,” it clarified. “Admit that this is your fault.”

Those words alone were enough to force another sob out of the hybrid. “I- I don’t-” He paused briefly, then changed his wording. “I _can’t_ -”

“Admit it,” the voice demanded again.

“No, no no no, I-”

“ _Admit it._ ”

“Please-”

“Admit it!”

The sound of his own voice’s shout was enough to break him, a scream filling the air and drowning out all else in the room. 

“It’s _my_ fault!” Ranboo forced through sobs. “It’s all my fault, not Dream’s! _Never_ Dream's! I-I’m a _terrible_ person!” He sucked in the air desperately, almost as if he were drowning, but it still wasn’t enough. 

“ _I_ blew up the community house!” 

His fist slammed violently into the ground. 

“ _I_ got Tommy exiled!” 

The faint feeling of pain did little to help the situation, but he continued anyway. 

“ _I_ caused L’Manburg’s destruction! _I_ had the _disk!_ ”

Saying it aloud only made it hurt more, yet, still, he persisted.

“ _I_ did _all_ of that, and I hate myself for it!”

Although he was sure that the room would be quiet for good if he stopped talking, Ranboo found that the admission had broken a dam of sorts, and the words kept tumbling out of his mouth like a lifeline that he refused to let go of and was sure he couldn’t, even if he tried.

“I hate myself!” he cried. “I-I _hate_ myself!”

He repeated it over and over until the statement didn’t even sound real anymore, his voice hoarse from his screams and face burned from his tears. He repeated the words until he couldn’t repeat it anymore, then his eyes began to droop shut. Even so, he forced the words out.

“I hate- I… hate…”

Finally, the merciful pull of unconsciousness completely washed over him, and, as the weight of sleep grew heavier, he found that some other part of him was, even if only a little bit, lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you thought, if you want.  
> i'd love to hear criticism, theories, compliments (jk jk...unless? no, seriously jk), or anything else you have to say!
> 
> i'm having a lot of fun writing this so far, and, let me tell you, it still gets worse before it gets better. stay safe guys
> 
> thanks for reading!! :)


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